Well, now that at last he’s done the decent thing, we can compare Terry the Taxi’s FULL league record against his predecessors’ first 38 games in charge

Well, now that at last he’s done the decent thing, we can compare Terry the Taxi’s FULL league record against his predecessors’ first 38 games in charge! I wouldn’t want you to think that my last posting was in anyway biased!

Bully can claim a host of Royal’s managerial records, sadly all but one are of the wrong kind! First the stats, I haven’t bothered to bore you with the permutations, ie ranked by most wins, least wins, least goals against etc, in the full list, but I do provide a quick review of bouquets and brickbats.

Let’s just look at some of the records. First the bouquets :

Most wins in first 38 games : Maurice Evans (18)

Least defeats in first 38 games : Ians Branfoot & Porterfield (8) - major surprise or what!

Most goals scored in first 38 games : Harry Johnston (63)

Least goals conceded in first 38 games : Ian Porterfield (41) - another surprise!

And now sadly the brickbats :

Least wins in first 38 games : TERRY BULLIVANT (10)

Most Defeats in first 38 games : TERRY BULLIVANT (19)

Least goals scored in first 38 games : TERRY BULLIVANT (36) - the only manager to average less than a goal a game.

Most goals conceded in first 38 games : er.. TERRY BULLIVANT (66)

So to round off then, Bully has the shortest reign of any post-war Royal’s manager, and yet managed to take us to the 5^th round of both cups in one season. Let’s hope he’s remembered for that, rather than the crap!! Yeah, well done Terry, "so long and thanks for all the fish"!

So, what does the future hold? During my search, I have put together the records of the various caretaker managers we’ve appointed. Trouble is, their records, by and large, have been just as dire as the guys they replaced! Below I’ve tabled the various records, again in chronological format. I think you’ll see what I mean!

Ray Henderson and Jimmy Wallbanks had passable records, but none that actually bettered the overall records of the men they replaced, (see Stats 10). Whilst the rest are best forgotten! So Mr Mad, the message appears to be crystal clear, GET A NEW MANAGER IN PRETTY SHARPISH, and one who knows what he’s talking about!! For the life of me I can’t believe that people of the experience of Allan Harris and Ray Houghton have sat idly by and just let Bully do his own thing, but it’s obvious that there aren’t too many people in the camp that actually know what football is all about and more importantly are prepared to upset a few applecarts by actually making a stand about the current situation.

I don’t know what Maurice Evans is doing right now, he was general manager at Oxford, but doesn’t appear in this year’s Rothmans on their staff. He would be an ideal candidate to "do a Joe Mercer" and steady the ship for a while, perhaps with a "track-suit" under his wing. However my favourite would be someone who’s played at the highest level, wants to move into management, is prepared to run through walls for the cause, be a natural leader, demand 110% effort for all around him, and finally be young enough to participate on the park as well as growing into the job. Sounds a tall order Mr Mad, but you did it once with Mark McGhee. There’s someone not too far away that would fit the specification perfectly, - someone fate has made indestructible - his name, Captain Scarlet! Sorry, wishful thinking, I meant to say of course Vinnie Jones!! Don’t all fall about laughing, I’m serious! He would be ideal for our current plight! At least he CARES - one adjective you simply cannot use to describe the attitude of the current squad at present. I’m sure he would attract more punters through the turnstyles too, something that I know is so dear to your heart Mr Mad! Trouble is, you just don’t have the balls to do it do you? (This is turning into an open letter to Mr Mad - sorry about that!)

Assuming that the size of egos around EP prevents the above from coming to pass, Gary Peters has stepped down from the Preston hot-seat, and of course the likes of Neil Webb and Lawrie Sanchez will doubtless be touted again, but are they really the kind of guys to get us out of this mess? I’ll leave others to speculate on that! In the meantime, let’s get behind the Royals for the last few games. Surely 49 points will be enough? 3 wins and a draw? Too much to ask for? Huddersfield, Stoke and Norwich at home for the wins? The obligatory draw at Molineux? Should do it! (With sincere apologies to the supporters of those teams, but I’m afraid our needs are mightier than yours just now!)

Strap.

(Only Vinnie can save us!)