Turning water into wine

[Jinx]

Water to wine is easy - potassium permanganate works perfectly, especially if it's after the guests have had a few first

Especially if you like purple wine?

[Millsy]

Water to wine is easy - potassium permanganate works perfectly, especially if it's after the guests have had a few first

Que???

(get it... ? K? the symbol for... oh, forget it.)

[Dick Habbin's hairdo]

What I would contest is that we have a substandard squad. What we have is a good squad putting in substandard performances over a period of 12 months and that is the key task for any manager coming into the club, finding the right system and motivating the players to cosistantly perform at a level they are capable of.

Agreed. I think we have 12-15 players of the core squad who should have been performing much better - but we also carry a load of "make dos" who, by themselves are OK and folk want them to do well but, frankly, are not just up to Chump standards e.g Kelly.

We *desperately* need a decent keeper - yes, we have 3 or 4 who are all OK'ish in their own way but none of them are what you would call Championship /Premier league class.

We also *desperately* need a couple of decent centre forwards. Currently, we have crocked Bod and, ummm, that's it. OK, I really want Meite to turn his enthusiasm into something but, again, he's just not a quality footballer player. Baldock runs around a lot, tracks back, works hard, but he's not a centre forward. I'm not sure what he is, actually.

Those that you - well, I - would want in the core squad are:
GK - none of them - and maybe Southwood for the future
RB - Gunter/Yiadom)
LB - Obita - assuming he ever plays again and Richards for the future
CB - Moore - and possibly Blackett and maybe Ilori, and certainly Osho and McIntyre next season. Both the young'uns look real class and you can understand why that donkey Cooper was let go
CM - Bacuna (POTS by miles to date), Swift (the only player we have with real quality), Rino (massive potential and another Gylfi type - not role - academy product), and Ezatohli (sp?) a the back of the diamond. Once he gets on the pace he will be ace.
WH - GMac (prob for only the rest of this season), Aluko (if he continues with the type of application he showed against QPR). Not Barrow.... so much promise, so little delivery.
CF - None. I'm not even convinced by Loader as one for the future. He needs to muscle up and use his head more.

I'm sure I might have missed a couple but that's 14 - fourteen - *at best* that would be worthy of a top champ squad and that's including Osho, McIntyre, Rino, and giving Blackett and Ilori the benefit of the doubt.

Nevertheless, that pool of midfielders - Bacuna, Eza, Swift and Rino - it really pretty tasty. If only they were all fit, not suspended and ours.

[Ascotexgunner]

Clement apologist. If you get 3 jobs and survive only 100 games in total, that says it all. Never had a full season at a club. Certainly given the backing at Derby......didn't survive. His record at Swansea and here is nothing g short of appalling in games won. Lost 11 of the first 14 in charge of Swansea going into a new season. Can't think any club will touch him with a barge pole in the top two divisions now.