Hob Nob Match Report

23 Jan 1999
York City 1 Reading 1

League
3,274 (!)

Howie, Bernal, Primus, Parkinson, Kromheer, Casper, Glasgow (Hodges), Caskey, Williams, Brayson (McIntyre (Gray)), Brebner

Parkinson

Match Audio
Coming Soon!
All samples are Real Audio format - you'll need Real Player.

Report from Phil Nixon:

"Shit Ground No Fans..........".
It's true, this was a shit ground, populated with only 3 and a half thousand fans, and considering last weeks debacle, plus York is basically halfway to the moon from reading, there was a fair contingent of travelling Royals. Standing in the rain. And The Cold. Watching Bad Football.

The team: Casper, Primus and Brebner back (hooray), Skippy in on the right (nooooooooooo), Kromheer somehow retaining his place, Parky Caskey and Glasgow in midfield with Williams and Brayson up front. I know everyone loves skippy so I'll simply state the facts: He couldn't cope at all with York Baldy Winger and his mate down the York left and thus by 3.04 pm had cropped both of them with ridiculous challenges that deserved at least one yellow (all he got was a stern ticking off). After half an hour it was obvious even to Burns that he was getting a pasting and thus he was swopped to the left, with tough tackling defender, er, Byron Glasgow moving to the right.

The game itself was hmmmm, how shall we say it, lively enough. the football was complete farce for the first 45 minutes, York had the posession but we had the best chances, Brayson put thru' by Brebner shot wide, Williams scored with a header but was offside, Brebner was also off side when he made a complete arse of himself by putting it out the ground from six yards out. York had loads of corners. Parky sliding in at his own near post somehow put it over the bar, there were comedy clearances, more sunday league defending, tho at least Linvoy's head was back to it's brilliant best, balls trundling across the face of goal, but nothing actually going in. Generally very mediocre 2nd division football.

The second half was a bit better, we started brightly with a few shots well over, McIntyre and......... Hodges (honest, that greasy bloke who was mates with Terry Taxi)) came on for Byron and Brayson. Skippys one decent contribution to the afternoon was a whipped in cross for Williams at the far post, which he headed 5 miles over. Mcintyre saw an effort go just wide with the keeper beaten. Richard Cresswell, the York striker who everyone reckons is worth 14 billion, was having a reasonable game, good on the ball, quick feet, dropping deep to support play, generally making a nuisance of himself. So what do you do if you're a Reading defender? more specifically a Reading defender who is quite clearly past it and could not keep up with the game at all? A Useless Australian Reading Defender?...... You try and break his f**king legs don't you? The most ridiculous challenge ever, sort of a flying scissor chop from behind at shin height, and Skippy was off, straight red, no complaints from Reading players or fans. York then scored after comedy defending of Royal Variety show standards (not funny, just embarrasing), and it rained some more....

However, things didn't collapse completely, McIntyre went off 7 minutes after coming on, always good news, he was replaced by Gray, good to have him back. Instead of playing the "Give it Caskey and watch him fanny about till he gives it away game", we actually started playing with a bit of urgency, made easier by York decamping to our half in search of some easy goals. Williams, Brebner and Hodges were making half chances simply by running at the york defence, but lacked any sort of understanding to really threaten.

Then........wow............ the full run of football emotions in 5 seconds. I can't remember the build up, just that it was as before, Reading on the break, running at York. Ball breaks to a hooped shirt on the edge of the box, DELIGHT as he skips past the last defender with a deft shimmy, bearing down on goal, TERROR as you realise, oh no! it's Parky! DESPAIR as he shoots straight in to the keepers body.....until YES! it was just a little striker-type dummy and he chips the ball delicately over Bobby Mimms (honest!) into the far corner.

Wow, what a goal, Parky was over the moon, and so were we. Then it was back to mis-hit passes (and by miss-hit, I don't just mean they didn't go the the right player, I mean they didn't actually kick the ball, just sort of swiped in it's general direction), players falling over and general Carry-On-Football. Caskey was hopeless, time after time he just gave it away with the most pathetic crap passing I'd ever seen. Kromheer was the same, Casper did his "small guy but good on the ball defender" thing Linvoy was immense, would have been man of the match if it wasn't for Parky, who did his usual 110% thing as well as scoring a peach of a goal. Brebner was ok, as were Hodges and Glasgow, Skippy was utter utter crap, Williams thought he was Faustino Asprilla, trying to juggle the ball over the entire pitch every time it came near, Brayson was good, but I appear to be the the only person in the world (apart from T. Burns) who thinks that: come on,. he caused them a lot of problems, with pace and direct running, something we've not had since Run Run Run Run Gilkesey.

But at the end of the day it was 2 very very average division 2 sides out comedying each other into a draw. It was fair result, 'cos we were as good as York, but only in the way Piles are as good as Genital Warts. We're not gonna get promoted playing like this. Phil

Phil


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