There's the Chelsea alarm clock:

Ding Ding Ding...time to get your ar$e kicked.
The Chelsea monopoly game:

You've been sacked. Do not pass go but do collect £25 million in compensation.
The Chelsea bike which (comes with a Micro scooter for the kids):


On your bike AVB
Chelsea aftershave:

Smells of oranges and the sweat of Abarmovich's victims... sorry managers.
The Chelsea garden knome:

I think they've found Torres' replacement.
Oh and in the Chelsea "Fashion" (yes that is right "fashion") section...

The Chelsea fleece